One of the stranger behaviours of the male human body is morning erections. It raises a simple question: WHY? What possible purpose does it serve? Wake up, willy is standing to attention demanding action but a full bladder demanding to be emptied makes this impossible. Two mutually exclusive actions.
But I digress, morning erections can sometimes be fun.
I am aroused from my slumber, I blink myopically at my phone, just after 7. The time is irrelevant to me as I am long retired from the daily grind of work. My girlfriend, however, is still a worker. Her phone is beeping its urgent call to duty.
Willy is stiff and strutting his stuff. My bladder is satisfied for the time being as a nocturnal trip to the toilet interrupted my sleep a few hours earlier.
I roll over and snuggle up to her back. She is all warm and soft. Willy is stiff. Willy pokes against her bum.
She pushes her bum backwards and wiggles. Then she rolls over.
“There is no time for that now!” She kisses me on the cheek.
“You will just have to sort yourself out.” She gives willy a gently tug, “Or wait and control yourself until this evening. Do you think you’ll be able to do that?” It’s a rhetorical question as she bounces out of bed and heads for the bathroom to get ready for work.
I drag myself out of bed. I am naked and it’s warm so I wander to the kitchen to boil the kettle for tea, make toast, and prepare her packed lunch. (Yes, I make her packed lunch for her, why not?)
A while later I am drinking tea, waiting. She arrives in the kitchen, wafting perfume, looking business like in her work clothes; a smart skirt suit. Willy is immediately aroused again by the sight of her.
She drinks tea while eating toast, sorting her handbag, packing her laptop bag and talking on her phone to a colleague.
A peck on the cheek, a giggle, a tug on willy, and she is gone. Just the smell of her perfume lingers.
A few moments later a text arrives. “Are you being a good boy and waiting? If you play with yourself I’ll smack your bottom when I get home.”
And so it begins. What do I do?
Willy is still stiff as I shower. My phone trills. I step out of the shower to another text. “Are you behaving? Did I mention I’m commando today?”
It’s a little after 9:30, she won’t be home for nine hours.
Willy is still stiff. I step back in the shower and turn it on full. COLD.
The phone trills again. “I am getting my fanny waxed this lunchtime.”
It’s going to be one of those days, teasing by text.
The cold shower made no difference to willy.
8 hours and 50 minutes….